Kempton 18/10/09

Another 'improvement' at the course is that having trawled the deepest gutters of the nation, they have dredged up a failed reality show contestant to co-host the in house television show. Either he is the stupidest man on the planet or is the worst comedian alive and the result is excruciatingly awful. Good news for the on-course betting shops, as they are the only refuges from it.

Maybe the racing would restore the joie de vivre? Not really, as it proved quite unexciting throughout, for which random blame is given to Hugo Chavez.

Going: Good to Firm (Good places)

Race 1: WilliamHill.com/Bonus25 £25 Sign-Up Bonus Juvenile Hurdle [2m]

1: Mohanad      2: Alazan     3: Ashes Summer

Winner owned: Heart Of The South Racing, trained: Sheena West, ridden: Jamie Goldstein

This proved to be the first of several races that turned out less competitive than anticipated. Alazan had won his last race, at Wincanton, whilst looking to be a less than easy to handle ride, and he was very keen today, charging off into a clear lead. Despite this being a very gettable two miles, he could not sustain it, and Mohanad, previously third at Fontwell, picked him off after the second last. In the end, the 1-2-3 accepted their fates without too much fuss. A race to set the pulse stopping.

Alazan opts to show the others a clean pair of heels at the wrong end of the race. Mohanad (dark green) leads the wise pursuit.

Race 2: 0800 444 040 (Bonus25) for Telephone Betting Beginners' Chase [2m 2½f]

1: Bergo      2: Stumped     3: Allfortara

Winner owner: Mrs M Findlay, trained: Gary Moore, ridden: Andrew Glassonbury

Like the opener, the race was set up by a runner setting off liked a crazed gazelle on a runaway space hopper. That horse, Bunglasha Jake, was beginning to struggle when a mistake at the seventh knocked the fizz out of him. At that stage Bergo cruised to the lead, and the race was pretty much over. He adapted to fences well and had no problem dropping back to two miles as the better of the hurdlers taking him on have not got their heads around fences. Stumped, who did initially hint at chasing promise, came out best of the rest despite faster ground and a shorter trip than he relishes.

Bergo has it all under control and looks happy with the state of play

Race 3: WilliamHill.com - Casino Bonuses Novice Hurdle (Listed) [2m]

1: Cootehill      2: Press The Button     3: Aather

Winner owned: Mrs Felicity Griffin, trained: Nigel Twiston-Davies, ridden: Paddy Brennan

Typically this race falls to an above average hurdler that is flattered to be winning in Listed grade, which was a neat assessment of Cootehill's thirteen race career even before this. Personally, the expectation was for him and Press The Button to be vying to be favourite, with Australia Day a couple of points longer. In fact, the last named was the jolly, based on stuffing a bunch of novices that got detached because they kept tripping over their big clown feet. The whole world has indeed gone raving mad - anyone claiming exception should contact UK-Jumping so we can set ourselves up in a safe fortified compound, where only the scientists are wavering on the edge of insanity. Australia Day's prospects of glory lasted precisely until he jumped big and came down at the first hurdle (a cheap cross reference to Ashes Summer appearing in race one is avoided) - after which he jumped the chase fences in the home straight like a veteran. This left Cootehill in front, where he stayed, as Press The Button could not respond to pressure when it was applied. Aather ran quite well but it will be tempting for the handicapper to rate him around his proximity to multiple winners.

Race 4: WilliamHill.com/Bonus25 - New Sportsbook Bonus Handicap Chase [2m]

1: Professor Higgins      2: Yawl Springs     3: Green Gamble

Winner owned: Andrea & Graham Wylie, trained: Howard Johnson, ridden: Denis O'Regan

Race four of the afternoon, and it was the fourth time that the winner did so quite comfortably, although Denis O'Regan was cheekily trying to impersonate a man operating at his physical limits. When the horse got two out slightly wrong, safety first policies cut in, and he won by a couple of lengths, value for much more. Yawl Springs ran one of his better races in second - with inconsistency being one of his hobbies, this is not a clue for the next run. Green Gamble was a nightmare waiting for someone. He has not been running well, but has a course record of 211. What was going to give? For a mile and a bit, the Kempton plus was on top. Then for half a mile he reverted to recent struggles, only to pick up again late on. Three races in one - value for money?

Eluvaparty and Green Gamble (the grey) mean business, King Brex softens up the last in case he needs it a lap later, and the head just behind us Professor Higgins

Race 5: 0800 444 040 (Bonus25) for Sign-Up Offer Hurdle [2m]

1: Katies Tuitor     2: Red Moloney     3: Treaty Flyer

Winner owned: Bill Adams, trained: Charlie Mann, ridden: Noel Fehily

Finally a bit of tension arrived at the business end. Favourite backers who had latched onto Red Moloney as a potential rising force on an ideal course, distance and going may disagree as he was mugged by Katies Tuitor, who was fourth in this last year and came into the race as very much a known quantity. He had fallen last time behind Treaty Flyer, and not sparkled prior to that, so this was an upset. For a horse that was worst in at the weights of the six runners and had been condemned to sellers and claimers in the Spring, Treaty Flyer ran a good race to be third. By an odd coincidence Katies Tuitor and Cootehill had rather ruined each other's chances in an altercation at Market Rasen recently. Having put the record straight, will there be more fisticuffs if they meet again? How long can a horse hold a grudge?

Race 6: WilliamHill.com - Making Vegas Millionaires Novice Hurdle [2m 5f]

1: Balthazar King      2: The Big Orse     3: Astral Boy

Winner owned: The Brushmakers, trained: Philip Hobbs, ridden: Richard Johnson

Only three ran in this and the betting was roughly evens, evens, 20/1. Balthazar King took nine attempts to finally win a hurdle, but he quickly doubled the tally as The Big Orse was too keyed up on his seasonal debut. Astral Boy hung in with the other pair far longer than might have been expected.

Race 7: WilliamHill.com/Bonus25 - £25 Free Bet Bonus Handicap Chase [3m]

1: Nagam      2: Ibberton     3: Top Dressing

Winner owned: ATA Wates, trained: Alan Fleming, ridden: Timmy Murphy

A horror of a race for punters to close with as there were massive negatives on every runner. Top Dressing - never won beyond 2 miles and recent form very poor. Nagam - avoided good to firm completely and can be sulky. Cold Mountain - shot up the handicap for winning a very poor race and wins very infrequently. Nesnaas - loves right handed and good to firm, but seems to barely stay 2m 2f. Ibberton - last won 3m 7f and usually sticks to grinding it out on undulating courses. Rudivale - three chase runs, a pulled up and defeats of 50 and 105 lengths, perked up when returned to hurdles. Anyone forced to have a bet, ideally with someone else's cash, might think Ibberton was the least crazy option, but would the absence of any front-runners tip the balance back to the non-stayers? Nagam had a good day, Ibberton battled with more heart than pace, and the rest were left trailing.

Plus Points

Ashes Summer (race 1): Was not given the hardest of times on his hurdling debut, and even though the race was nothing special, he ought to be able to step up on it.

Allfortara (race 2): Ran really well until she got the second last wrong, and having seemed capable of better than her bare form over hurdles, she might well get it going as a chaser.

Eluvaparty (race 4): Set a strong pace, and was vainly clinging on to the winners tail when hitting the last, from which point he dropped back to fifth. A much better run than the bare result and a step up in trip is needed.

Ibberton (race 7): Ran OK in a non-threatening sort of way, but marathon trips, or places like Exeter or Towcester will work in his favour.

Down Arrows

Alazan (race 1): At a supposed top tier course, a horse rated 74 on the flat was a long odds-on favourite. He has three runs in the book, two telling a dodgy story, but will the betting market spurn a Philip Hobbs horse with form of 212?

Nortonthorpe Lad (race 2): A jolly decent hurdler, his best run over fences is possibly a well beaten fourth today or a 30 length sixth. Exactly.

Yawl Springs (race 4): Now has two OK runs since coming from Ireland, but remains uncomfortably winless.

Noble Request (race 5): Had been absent so long that his form is written in Aramaic, and whilst he can be excused a quiet run on returning, he was fifth amongst horses rated a stone or more behind him. If he is not the force of old (and it was never a high winning percentage force) how quickly will he drop in the handicap to reflect it?

Nesnaas (race 7): Dropped out a bit before stamina became an issue, and has been in a slump even when in the right race at the right time.

UK-Jumping Selections

Press The Button (race 3): Had less but probably better rivals, and had a race run to suit his turn of foot, so his inability to pass Cootehill was a bit of a let down, but he was worryingly inclined to hang in behind as well.

The Big Orse (race 6): Got a touch sweaty and far too keen, leaving nothing in the locker. Should progress for the race.